Had some trouble with the sunset with figures and a bridge that I was talking to Bernard about. As the bad weather prevented me from working on the spot, I completely worked this study to death trying to finish it at home.
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ResetAt the moment I’m really in the shit, studies, studies, studies, and that’ll go on for some time yet – such a mess that it breaks my heart – and yet that’ll give me neatness when I’m 40. From time to time a canvas that makes a painting, such as that sower, which I too think is better than the first one.
I don’t yet know what Gauguin thinks about my decoration in general; I only know that there are some studies that he really does like, namely, the Sower, the Sunflowers, the Bedroom.
This week I did a new study of a sower; the landscape utterly flat, the figure small and blurred.
As far as work goes, I brought home a no.15 canvas today, it’s a drawbridge, with a little carriage going across it, outlined against a blue sky — the river blue as well, the banks orange with greenery, a group of washerwomen wearing blouses and multicoloured bonnets. And another landscape with a little rustic bridge and washerwomen as well. Lastly an avenue of plane trees near the station. 12 studies altogether since I’ve been here.
I’ve scraped off one of the large painted studies. A Garden of Olives—with a blue and orange Christ figure, a yellow angel—a piece of red earth, green and blue hills. Olive trees with purple and crimson trunks, with grey green and blue foliage. Sky lemon yellow. I scraped it off because I tell myself it’s wrong to do figures of that importance without a model.
There’s a hard frost here, and out in the country there’s still snow—I have a study of a whitened landscape with the town in the background. And then 2 little studies of a branch of an almond tree that’s already in flower despite everything.
If Gauguin were to examine himself properly in Paris or have himself examined by a specialist doctor, my word I don’t really know what the result of it would be.
Several times over I’ve seen him do things that you or I wouldn’t permit ourselves to do, having consciences that feel things differently – I’ve heard two or three things said of him in the same vein – but I, who saw him at very, very close quarters, I believed him led by his imagination, by pride perhaps but – – quite irresponsible. This conclusion doesn’t imply that I firmly recommend that you listen to him in all circumstances. But in the matter of settling his account I see that you acted with a higher conscience, and so I believe that we have nothing to fear from being led into errors of ‘banking in Paris’ by him. But as for him... upon my word, let him do what he wants, let him have his independences????? (in what way does he consider his character independent), his opinions... and let him go his own way, as it seems to him that he knows it better than we do.
I find it quite odd that he’s claiming a painting of sunflowers from me, offering me in exchange I suppose, or as a gift, a few studies that he left here. I’ll send back his studies — which will probably have uses for him that they certainly wouldn’t have for me.
But for the moment I’m keeping my canvases here, and I’m categorically keeping those sunflowers of mine.